AGArtBTheatreWelcome to a new regular feature in which I’ll be giving dramatic readings of the worst artist statements, gallery press releases and art criticism I’ve had the misfortune to encounter. Some of them have already been featured on this site; others are based on tip-offs and reports from colleagues or readers.

Episode 1 is OSCILLATING, which means moving or swinging back and forth in a regular rhythm, or varying in magnitude or position in a regular manner about a central point. An example of an oscillation is shown here for the reference of any art writers who still think it means “I’m afraid I can’t describe what the hell this person’s art is meant to be about or represent”. The animation shows an undamped spring–mass oscillatory system, if for some weird reason any engineering aficionados are reading this.


Nor does “oscillate” mean “I work in more than one medium/take part in different activities at different times”. “Oscillating” doesn’t mean “oh, it’s complicated”, and it doesn’t allow you to connect without…

View original post 194 more words